A couple of days ago, I was sent to a home to check the welfare of a couple (age 77 and 80) who had just left a nursing home and were back at home, with their son (40ish?).
It was a sad situation.  The couple are not physically able to care for themselves.  HOWEVER, it was the elderly man's decision to leave the nursing home, according to him.  He said it was too expensive ($200/day).
This disturbed me quite a lot because I am a single woman, with a significant amount of financial responsibilities (ok, I have some debt), who has chosen not to have children due to a few factors, definitely NOT the least of which was concern over being emotionally and financially responsible / successful enough to offer them the kind of life I would want my children to have.  I have no plan to ever have a dependent (okay, there are kids out there who would be better off with me than whatever situation they are currently in, but that's another blog).
That being said, neither of my parents have any assets or retirement pensions.  My Dad is not the big concern - he has four kids and a legal degree.
My Mom is another story.  At 62, she is a renter with no pension and no savings.  (I mean NONE)  And she has difficulty keeping a job (as a legal secretary), so she often finds she doesn't have health insurance.  She has a history of cancer and alzheimers in her immediate family (quite a lot of both, actually) and had some pre-cancerous cells removed when she was my age.  She also has diverticulitis and is about 60 lbs. overweight.  She still expects to have a standard of living of middle-class, given all of that.
I don't know what I'm going to do with her.
She has already asked twice to live with me.  My refusals did not leave her homeless, but forced her to accept a slightly lower standard of living (renting out the basement of a large, newer house, instead of having her own 2000 sq. ft. townhouse in a nice suburban neighborhood, and now, renting a 2 bdrm apartment, again, still not in a bad part of town and not a bad complex).
My main reason for not just letting her move in is that we have a very strained relationship.  A LOT of that strain is because I am usually the parent in the relationship.  She calls me to tell her what to do about her boyfriend or to find an apartment for her (on the first, I told her to dump him, on the second, I ignored the request.  She's an adult.  She can open a newspaper or grab an apartment guide free from the grocery store or check out apartments.com at the library).
There is just no way I can have her here.  I know that is REALLY selfish.  But I am not the one who chose to have children.  I am not independently wealthy.  I am a working-class girl whose strained relationship with her eccentric mother definitely was a negative in my last dating relationship.
So, what the heck do I do?
My boss HATED the guy I mentioned above and was so pissed at him for not taking care of his parents better.  And I do understand my boss's response.  He was also upset about the fact that eldercare in our country takes a back seat to Section 8 and health benefits for non-citizens, both people who COULD do something different to not be dependent on the government.
I don't know.  I'm not ungrateful for the life I've had and my mom has been very supportive.  I'm just scared to death.
I mean, I would really, REALLY love to have a dog, but I work too far from home and don't have a yard and don't have the $ to pay for unusual veterinary bills of the nature that dogs often need . . . how in the hell am I supposed to take care of a human????
I'm sure that a lot of people will judge me for my reluctance, but I guess that's the risk of blogging.