It's funny the things that can cause sudden significant reflection.
I am beginning to think that I am a mutant.
I am a single (okay, divorced, but FOURTEEN years ago!), 35 yr. old, conservative-minded, female with no kids.
In the day to day, it doesn't seem strange to me, really.
I work with a bunch of men and men don't do as much running around talking about family and kids as women do, I don't think.
But, today, one of my dearest friends whom I've known for around 22 years had a BBQ.  She told me a couple of months ago that she knew a man she wanted me to meet and that she and her hubby would be having a BBQ this summer and she thought that would be an easy way to get us in the same place together.  Now, I'm not really looking, but I guess some corner of my soul still holds out hope for a soul mate, so I was open.  Of course, as I expected, he didn't show up.  But that wasn't the real issue.  The real issue is that I was the ONLY single person there, much less the only person with no kids there.  I'm an introvert anyway, so that was extremely uncomfortable for me.  I left after about 30 mins. of debating whether I wanted to go strike up a conversation with someone whose attention would be constantly taken by one of the apparently 700 little tykes spreading energetic joy around the house.
Kids are ... cute, but uh . . . in small doses.  I love this particular friend's daughter, but she is a little angel and she is one of my very best friend's daughters!  Most children are undisciplined, ill-mannered, demanding, and loud, in my experience.  Whatever happened to the old adage "children should be seen and not heard?"  Oh well, I must remember that I have no idea what life with kids is like and there is nothing any more wrong with wanting that life than with me NOT wanting that life.
So, I scooted out of there and, unfortunately, I was a little high-strung after spending the past week in the same room with my most recent ex, for a training class, and still being friendly with him and being the one who, ultimately, was rejected . . . I was a little raw.  So, I got "tremble lip" and drove to the animal shelter.
No, I didn't bring home a new friend.  And BTW, animal shelters get me SO MAD at people.  For ONE, shelters right now are holding approximately 70% pit bull mixes.  STOP BREEDING PIT BULLS YOU MORONS!!  HOLY CRAP!  And then the other animals there . . . stupid people are too ignorant to train their pets and somehow it's the animals fault if they misbehave?  And so they drop them off at the shelter because they're too cowardly to put the animal down themselves even though that is, factually speaking, what is most likely to happen to them.
Now, I have no desire to be a hoarder.  I like for my home to smell pleasant, not like animals.  I have ONE cat.  He needs a friend.  If I had all of the animals I wanted, I'd probably have 2 horses, 2 cats, and 2 dogs.  That's it.  But everytime I go in the shelter, to volunteer or to look for a friend, there are several animals I'd love to give a home to.
Anyway, the shelter was depressing because I so badly want a dog but now is just still not the time (roommate doesn't like dogs, I have no yard, I can't afford costly vet bills ...).  And, back to kids, I sure wish people would put half as much thought into having kids as I do into getting a dog . . .
So, here I am, searching the internet for other SINKs and finding that I am aka an "OINK," (thanks a lot).
I'm not a mutant.  I just happen to want a different kind of life, but it sure would be nice to find a friend or two like me, who isn't a rabid feminist, who isn't a rabid liberal, who isn't rabid about anything, really.
Well, I give up for now.  I'll escape into some episodes of "Supernatural."

I went for a drive yesterday.  Originally, I intended to drive to the Rollinsville area and hike up to a couple of lakes in that area.

I made it to Rollinsville and was following directions from a book that's about 20 years old and I found . . . oops . . . my Toyota Yaris is not making it up that rocky dirt road!

Okay, I can improvise.  Actually, I have found over the years, that I have a pioneering personality, so a little random exploration is not a problem.

I drove on and decided that the scenery along the road was plenty beautiful for me to walk along.  I passed a quaint old schoolhouse/church and drove almost to the end of the road and parked.  I grabbed my camera (and donned a raincoat and a tac vest as all I was wearing was shorts and a tank and it was quite cool and cloudy out (compared to the metro area's  90+ temps)) and started walking back along the road.

I realized that I was in some dirt bike/4-wheeler mecca and that the road I couldn't travel, as well as another road at the end of the road I parked along, were perfect for those activities.  I was jealous that I didn't have such a fun toy, a little . . . but I enjoyed the relative peace and quiet of that remote mountain road.  I walked along a rushing stream, through a field populated with lovely purple flowers, back to the church/school.  I couldn't figure out what it was - there were No Trespassing signs everywhere - it was very "Little House on the Prairie."

I took about 20 photos along the way and was quite shocked at how exhausted I was after the 80 minute slow walk.  That aspect is concerning as I am dealing with mystery medical issues and usually have more endurance.  Heck, just the day before, I took a one-hour kickboxing class and did weight training on my legs before THAT.  I don't know if maybe the altitude had something to do with it.

I am now hoping to incorporate photowalks into my life, weekly if possible.

This latest story reminds me of the complete naivete we often have about people.  We go camping, expecting that other campers will be like us - on vacation, family-oriented, nature-oriented.  We forget that the wilderness offers much to society's rejects.  To stay away from the prying eyes of neighbors, to be able to indulge in whatever aberrant behavior, to not have to register as a sex offender . . . It's a good place to hide out.  I know we have park rangers and small town law enforcement, sheriffs, and troopers, but we need to be really careful when we wander into the wilderness.  We need to think of stories like this or the Yosemite murders.

A couple of gang shootings in Denver are putting the spotlight back on gangs here, after the Darrent Williams homicide publicity has died down a bit.
I have met quite a few gang members.  Individually, they know how to play the game and usually don't "front."  But once they get around their friends, they get lippy, disrespectful, etc..
I bought a couple of books to try to understand why one would choose to pretty much eliminate all possibility of future success by joining a gang.  Part of the problem is, of course, recruiting starts at such a young age (9 yrs. old is not unheard of) that I don't know how much of a conscious decision it is.
So, who is at fault?  Well, it's different for different ethnic groups, I think.  I mean, I am no gang specialist, but I know we have Asian Pride for asians, Bloods and Crips for blacks, Aryan Nation for whites, MS-13 and Surenos for hispanics.  I assume those generalizations do have some exceptions - I know of a white guy who claims Bloods, for example.  Then there are the newer groups, H2K and ICP, which seem to be more mixed.
I have a hard time taking the last two seriously, for some reason.  They seem to be made up of misfits who need to belong to something that makes them seem like badasses in order to hide their, very, very obvious insecurity.
They still shoot at each other though!
I know the concept of gangs has been around a lot longer than it seems.  I know there is something that can be done about them in addition to just throwing them in jail as often as possible.
I just don't know what that "something" is.

A couple of days ago, I was sent to a home to check the welfare of a couple (age 77 and 80) who had just left a nursing home and were back at home, with their son (40ish?).
It was a sad situation.  The couple are not physically able to care for themselves.  HOWEVER, it was the elderly man's decision to leave the nursing home, according to him.  He said it was too expensive ($200/day).
This disturbed me quite a lot because I am a single woman, with a significant amount of financial responsibilities (ok, I have some debt), who has chosen not to have children due to a few factors, definitely NOT the least of which was concern over being emotionally and financially responsible / successful enough to offer them the kind of life I would want my children to have.  I have no plan to ever have a dependent (okay, there are kids out there who would be better off with me than whatever situation they are currently in, but that's another blog).
That being said, neither of my parents have any assets or retirement pensions.  My Dad is not the big concern - he has four kids and a legal degree.
My Mom is another story.  At 62, she is a renter with no pension and no savings.  (I mean NONE)  And she has difficulty keeping a job (as a legal secretary), so she often finds she doesn't have health insurance.  She has a history of cancer and alzheimers in her immediate family (quite a lot of both, actually) and had some pre-cancerous cells removed when she was my age.  She also has diverticulitis and is about 60 lbs. overweight.  She still expects to have a standard of living of middle-class, given all of that.
I don't know what I'm going to do with her.
She has already asked twice to live with me.  My refusals did not leave her homeless, but forced her to accept a slightly lower standard of living (renting out the basement of a large, newer house, instead of having her own 2000 sq. ft. townhouse in a nice suburban neighborhood, and now, renting a 2 bdrm apartment, again, still not in a bad part of town and not a bad complex).
My main reason for not just letting her move in is that we have a very strained relationship.  A LOT of that strain is because I am usually the parent in the relationship.  She calls me to tell her what to do about her boyfriend or to find an apartment for her (on the first, I told her to dump him, on the second, I ignored the request.  She's an adult.  She can open a newspaper or grab an apartment guide free from the grocery store or check out apartments.com at the library).
There is just no way I can have her here.  I know that is REALLY selfish.  But I am not the one who chose to have children.  I am not independently wealthy.  I am a working-class girl whose strained relationship with her eccentric mother definitely was a negative in my last dating relationship.
So, what the heck do I do?
My boss HATED the guy I mentioned above and was so pissed at him for not taking care of his parents better.  And I do understand my boss's response.  He was also upset about the fact that eldercare in our country takes a back seat to Section 8 and health benefits for non-citizens, both people who COULD do something different to not be dependent on the government.
I don't know.  I'm not ungrateful for the life I've had and my mom has been very supportive.  I'm just scared to death.
I mean, I would really, REALLY love to have a dog, but I work too far from home and don't have a yard and don't have the $ to pay for unusual veterinary bills of the nature that dogs often need . . . how in the hell am I supposed to take care of a human????
I'm sure that a lot of people will judge me for my reluctance, but I guess that's the risk of blogging.

I just read a charming book called "Marley and Me," by John Grogan.

I laughed out loud several times.  I got all trembly in the lip and dropped a few tears toward the end.  And the middle, I was scared to death for Marley.

Grogan's sense of humor tickles my funny bone.  I recommend this as a great summer read!

I am supposed to appear in court tomorrow, which reminds me .. . what is up with our courts?
Having become fairly familiar with court of late, I am disturbed by the complete inefficiency brought about by all of the kowtowing we do to defendants.
What would be so wrong with requiring defendants to decide whether or not they will plea a few days BEFORE their court date?  Even 24 hours in advance would save untold wasted time.

Instead, potential jurors, witnesses, victims, and police officers waste their time and interrupt their schedules to respond to court only to be told, at least an hour AFTER they were required to appear that the Defendant has decided to plea or the attorneys are not prepared.  It's asinine.  There is absolutely no point to it whatsoever.

And I DID write my congressman about this, several months ago.  There were a couple of other items in the email too, but the fact that I never received any response, not even an acknowledgement that my concerns would be considered, just pisses me off.

What is the appropriate way to fix ANYTHING in our government if something so obvious and seemingly fairly simple, can't be addressed?

Yes, I get paid to go to court.  Big deal.  It interrupts my whole day.  I used to wonder why everybody fussed about going to court so much, because we do get paid.  Now, I understand.  Far more often than not, I am subpoenaed to appear at 8am and, at least in our municipal court, we sit in a room and wait until 9:30am to hear even one bit of information about whether the case is going to be heard that day or not.  Usually it's not.  So, I got up, got dressed, sat through an hour and a half of boredom, all to cater to the person who wouldn't be in court if I didn't for darn sure believe he/she was guilty.

Okay, I rant a lot.  But, seriously, the waste of money and resources is astounding.  And the poor jurors who have to get off of work and then wait and see if they will be chosen for jury duty.  Ai-yi-yi!

Driving home from work at 0200 hrs. today, I heard about the Jesse Davis story and her boyfriend, a p.o., being a suspect, and about the NINE firefighters who died in Charleston (http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/06/23/firefighters/).

I just HATE it when somebody makes it onto the police force who then destroys the reputation of so many who fight the good fight and try to foster a positive image, if not relationship with the community.  If, indeed, Cutts is guilty, which, I feel, he probably is based on how few innocent people I've taken to jail, I'm just disgusted.  I have seen it myself - departments spend all kinds of time and money investigating applicant backgrounds but somehow still manage to be bamboozled by a couple of, at best, jackasses, at worst, murderers.  I guess I have to accept the fact that humans are humans and have flaws.  I just hate seeing this kind of publicity for law enforcement.

And NINE firefighters!  How does that happen?  That is just heartbreaking.  I don't get to chat a lot with Fire/Rescue, but I sure appreciate them.  I am so sorry for the loss of these heroes.  R.I.P., go with God.

So, I left home around 4:30 pm to go see about a drop-in soccer group meeting at a park nearby.  When I saw the post about it on Craig's list yesterday, it seemed like a great idea!  But, the more I thought about it, the more shy I got about just showing up alone.  So, I went to the park without soccer gear and with a book, to walk by and see if it looked like something I wanted to try next week, once I at least introduce myself to the organizer.
There were about ten people there - several 20-30 ish men wearing stuff that looked very appropriate to soccer (more appropriate than a leisurely recreational game), and a few women sitting on the side with the kids.
Geez!  I am beginning to feel like such an oddball.  I don't have kids and, at 35, that definitely puts me in a minority.  Anyway, it all looked a little too competitive and intimidating to me, so I kept on walking and decided to sit and read where I could see the dogs in the dog park.
Well, the only place I could sit and see the dogs was IN the dog park.  So, I mustered up the guts to walk into a dog park, WITHOUT a dog, feeling like a big dork, and perched on one of the benches.
I love dogs.  Such joy and openness.  None of the dogs came near me for quite a while, which, in my current state of insecurity, was a little alarming!  But finally, this very lovely husky-type, wolf-looking dog, came running up and went straight for a lick on the face.  (Well, hello to you too!)  She stayed and let me scratch and pet her for longer than I expected, then went chasing after some other dog.  I then received a couple of drive-bys where the dogs stayed just out of reach and just checked out my surroundings, then another visit from my new friend, and finally another big curly-haired, sheepdog-looking dog came up and greeted me (minus the face-lick).
After about an hour of just watching an increasing number of dogs frolic, a human came up to me.  She was very nice and sat and chatted with me about dogs and trying to sell her home and whatnot.  I liked her.  I appreciate those people who are bold enough to come up and chat with me.  I like meeting new people (part of why my job is great).  To those who are that bold, I realize, it doesn't seem bold at all, but to me, they are one up on me.
Our greatest topic of discussion was bulldogs.  I had NO idea how aggressive those little buggers are!  I have always thought they were cute, but a little too loud in the snorting/breathing dept. to be of great interest to me.  But I didn't know they were bullies.  And it wasn't just one or two bulldogs.  There were about six of them and they were definitely trying to establish dominance, among pugs and terriers and labradors and GERMAN SHEPHERDS!  Are you kidding me?  This one was picking a fight with the breed of dog most often associated with law enforcement and tracking down criminals?  That is just ridiculous.  Of course, the owners certainly were not without blame in this.  For a moment, one of the more aggressive bulldogs was put back on a leash and then they let it off again and that's when the heated argument with the German Shepherd began.  Why was the bulldog back off-leash?  It already exhibited aggressive behavior!
It just was rather off-putting to me to be in an off-leash park and see owners not controlling the aggression, and , um . . . amorous behavior, of their dogs.  If it's not trained, don't bring it, I think.
I still yearn for a dog friend to accompany me to the park and maybe go for a run with, but I'll stick to my furball cat for now.  He has manners.

I'm just wondering if it is common or uncommon to know your neighbors.  I mean KNOW them, hang out with them, etc.
I have been living in the same place for 5 or 6 years now, and several of my neighbors too.  We live in townhouses and yet, I don't know any of them.
This comes up because I was at the pool the other day and my roommate apparently met someone that lives about 8 houses away from me, distance wise, on myspace.  I've never met him.
Since I've lived here, I don't remember any block parties or anything.  I suppose there's still plenty of time to plan one, I just wonder how many people would come and planning such things is a pain and expensive.
Any suggestions how to do something simple to develop some community in my community?
I try different things to facilitate such things and I find that less than 10% of invitees show up and it seems a waste.  I wonder if  I'm doing something wrong or if  the neighbor in neighborhood is kind of passe.

Well, here I am, 2200 hrs. on another Monday night, still in bed, really.  I didn't go to the gym, I didn't even go for a walk.  Heck, I'm pretty sure I never stepped foot outside.  Holy wow.
The good news is I'm interviewing this Thursday for a volunteer gig on Mondays.  Maybe THAT will motivate me.
Monday is the middle of my 3-day weekend and I just am having this LAZY theme on Mondays.  I do have a theory that has to do with what used to occupy my Sundays no longer being an option and the disappointment each week is dragging me down on Mondays.  Eventually, that should subside.  It's only been five weeks.
I'm not proud of it.   There's about a million things I  should've done today:  scrape that stupid popcorn paint crap off about 1000 sq. ft. of my ceilings; take my flashlight to  get fixed; CLEAN; go through my mail; make a lesson plan for my training group tomorrow night; kickboxing class and weightlifting;  heck, making any sort of productive contribution to anything would've been good.
Instead, I poked around the internet all day.  My behind hurts from sitting on it.  LOL  How lame.
I need a dog.  Would that get me out of bed?  My cat has inspected me a few times today, but mostly has found something more interesting to occupy his time.  I could've played with the poor little fella.  He is a playing machine.  He is also a regurgitating machine, of late, which has gotten rather annoying.  I'd better fill his prescription for Prevacid.  Nope, not kidding.  His visit to the vet last week determined he doesn't have a twisted intestine or any kind of obstruction - he just pukes a lot.  Ew.
But I am sympathetic - I usually am reminded of my tummy troubles about halfway through kickboxing when I overheat and have to walk it off or suffer the consequences.  Damn getting older - acid reflux begone!!
And THERE you have my TMI revelation of the day.

In my last blog, I touched on something that I want to expand on . . . waiting your turn and yielding right of way.  They're very similar in my mind.

When approaching a place where you might have to wait in line, stop and look around you.  Where is the actual queue?
I've seen places, like the self-checkout at King Soopers, where there are, say, four places to do your business and someone (oh, say, me for example) is waiting at the tip of the middle (how else can I explain that, it's like the way a child draws a house with four points on two sides and an apex) and someone else cuts that person off and goes and stands at one of the stations that they think will free up fastest.  Hello?  Am I invisible?

When you see that the lane of traffic that you are in ends, do NOT proceed to the last possible point in the lane and shove your way in.  If everyone did that, the people in the other lanes would never get through!  Merge as soon as you see that you will need to and do not expect the car that just let the car in front of you in to let you in.  This one really peeves me.

When in the grocery store, do not place your cart in the center of the aisle and stand there.  Do not place your cart on one side of the aisle and stand on the other side.  There are TWO lanes of traffic in the aisle.  Make yourself and your cart as small as possible so that others may get by you without asking your permission.

When driving on the highway, pay attention to whether cars are tailgating you and/or passing on your right in numbers greater than one.  If they are, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!  Let those with the power to enforce the law catch them if they wish to exceed the speed limit more than you are.

Reign in your children and pets.  Adults should not have to get out of THEIR way.  Do not let them run amuk so that people who are paying attention to where they are going in terms of keeping their eyes open at the height of an adult trip over them or have to "brake" to avoid "running them over."

Alright then.

MySpace?  Reunion?  TownHall?  Well, let's try here.  MySpace seems a bit full of nutters.  Reunion just seems to be a little shallow.  TownHall has like minds.
Well, okay, nobody else could possibly think like me.  I'm a nut!  But at least there are shared values and beliefs!

And what, oh what, shall I blog about?
Well, I'm not really in a political or religious phase (hmmm . . . I'm feeling rather shallow, really, maybe I should go to Reunion).

But I will pick a topic to get this thing started.

How about MANNERS?

I was on a date with a young man, some ten or more years ago.  We were on our third or fourth date and he ordered some kind of chicken in cream sauce in a decent restaurant (not McDonald's, but not The Melting Pot).  I was horrified to see him pick up said chicken in cream sauce and eat it with his fingers!  What the heck?  (I will try to refrain from my usual "cuss like a sailor" language around here . . . which is just funny since I'm fussing about manners!)  We did not have another date.  Poor guy.  I didn't tell him.  I felt bad, yes, I did.  I tried to be kind and gentle in my decision to end the dating experiment.  I think I did okay - he still asked a mutual friend about me some years later.  Hmmmm . . . in light of my single status, maybe I should have been more lenient . . . nah, I like the direction my life has gone.
Anyway, in my work, I especially have the opportunity to observe the manners of juveniles.  They are, in general, abhorrent.  There are a shocking number of households in which the child sets the tone.  Children no longer worry about speaking only when spoken to, respecting their elders, waiting their turn, etc.  When I have, once or twice in my life, met a well-mannered child, I am taken aback and consider kidnapping them for myself (just kidding, I guess I can't say stuff like that yet - people wouldn't know when to take me seriously).
I get to meet lots of rude adults at work too, but they are generally not as bad, perhaps because they've encountered enough people in my line of work to know the risks of being rude to the wrong person.  In my case, it just means that they will get no breaks, no leniency, and I will do everything I can to make the experience unpleasant.  You're nice to me, I'm nice to you.  At work, it goes in that order.
I guess some manner violations are inherent to the male gender (i.e. gas emissions that they think amusing, coming from either end), and one just has to roll with it.  I prefer maintain as much decorum as possible around others.
I think manners consist of:  Waiting one's turn to speak, opening a door for a woman, listening, speaking in a calm voice, refraining from intentionally insulting others, refraining from swearing in front of children and anyone else you think might be offended (I need some work on this myself), helping the elderly cross the street, being on time, keeping promises, don't cut into lines (be they standing in line for a cash register, merging into traffic, what have you)etc., etc.
I'm not Miss Manners - the art of Thank You notes is rather lost on me (to my chagrin), and I can generally be quite self-absorbed (really, I think you have to be to be a blogger and think that anyone else is interested in what one has to say).
But it truly saddens me to see what I perceive to be a digression and erosion of propriety.